Elevator

Elevator

by David Lee

The numbers count backwards from ten to one

The silver doors whoosh apart.

If it is empty, I can dance a bit

And press all the buttons, and say naughty words

And speak to God, and fart, and smile for no reason.

If someone is in it, I take my place,

A quiet smile assuring the other passenger

That I do not smell anything funny,

And that I don’t mind that all the buttons are pushed,

And that I don’t like to dance.

But how free it would feel to speak to God with a stranger

As we climb the floors, one by one.


Comments I received from my Professor:
(line 2) I can just hear that.
(lines 4-5) very human.
(line 11) is free the best word choice?
(lines 11-12) very nice ending.

Total points:  95/100

AWWWWW YEAAAAH!!